Your Tax Dollars InAction

The following are snippets of conversations I've had in the past couple of days here at my wonderful government job...

#1
Tom - "I have two users, Jane Doe & Sara Smith, that need their FSS activated."
Debbie - "I don't know who those people are."
Tom - "They are contractors."
Debbie - "I've never heard of them. I'll have to get back to you."
10 minutes later......
Debbie - "They are assigned to D.C. so I can't change them."
Tom - "No, they are here in Baltimore. I called both of them on baltimore extensions."
Debbie - "Ok, let me figure this out and get back to you."
10 minutes later......
Debbie - "I just found out who they are. They are the girls upstairs. They are contractors."
Tom - "Yea..."
Debbie - "I activated them and they should be good to go now."
Tom - "Thanks..."

#2
Voicemail from Rhonda - "I can't sign in and I'm locked out of windows, call me back."
Tom - "Ok, I reset your password to whatever3$."
Rhonda - "Ok"
Tom - "That's all lower case, w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r the number 3 and dollar sign."
Rhonda - "Ok"
Tom - "Anything else you need?"
Rhonda - "Oh wait, do I have to type that in?"
Tom - "Um, yes. That's your password."
Rhonda - "Oh, what is it?"
Tom - "w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r the number 3 and dollar sign."
Rhonda - "It's not working because Jim is logged onto this computer."

#3
Voicemail from Darlene - "I can't get to my email, call me back."
Tom - "Ok, what's the problem?"
Darlene - "I click on Outlook and it says 'Outlook Setup.' It works on my other computer in Annapolis, but not this one."
Tom - "Ok, that's because you haven't set it up on this one. We can set it up, or you can just log in to your email from the internet. The internet is probably easier."
Darlene - "Ok, what do I do?"
Tom - "First, open up Internet Explorer."
Darlene - "Ok...let's see....Internet Explorer....Ok, I opened it....sighhhhhh....my email's not here either."
Tom - "Yea, we have to actually go to the website."

#4
Voicemail from Linda - "My xxx account is slow, call me back."
Tom - "We don't support xxx so you'll have to call yyy."
Linda - "Ok, it's just moving really slow."
Tom - "Ok"
Linda - "Like I'll click something and I'll have to wait 3 or 4 minutes for the computer to respond."
Tom - "Yea, sounds like yyy will be able to help you out."
Linda - "And see, I just clicked this icon and it's taking forever."
Tom - "Ok"
Linda - "And when I type it'll take a while to show up. Like I have to type a sentence out word by word to make sure I'm typing it correctly."
Tom - "Allright, well like I said, if you call-"
Linda - "There we go. It finally came up. But it takes forever. I don't know how they expect us to work like this.
Tom - "Ok, well I'm gonna go."
Linda - "I just can't believe how slow it is. This is ridiculous. So yea, you can see where this is frustrating."
Tom - "Yea, I can def see where this is frustrating."

BlueFirePoker Review

How many clicks does it take to get to the center of this tootsie roll pop? A lot. Let me explain.

I play 6max 100NLHE and tournaments. This preface is required due to the content on BlueFirePoker. This review will be from my perspective (obviously), but your experience may differ depending on what games you play.

As you would expect, they don't have that many videos since they just opened for business. This is in no way a slight on their website, just a fact of life. What I look for in a training site is material related to the games I play. BFP seems to be focused a little more on mid to high stakes content. This of course could change in the future, but I can only review what is available. Also, there are plenty of videos for all of you heads-up enthusiasts out there. Unfortunately, this is not for me either. Content related to small stakes 6max NLHE is few and far between, but their library on this topic is growing each week. There is no doubt in my mind that, given adequate time, their small stakes 6max NLHE section will become a very valuable source of information.

The only other complaint I had when using the site was the overall structure and flow of the material. Keep in mind that I'm an avid DeucesCracked member, so I have come to expect a certain level of organization. Maybe I've been spoiled, but I'm used to the "Series" concept that DC uses. It groups together videos into 8 part series where a specific coach/coaches explain a concept or strategy from beginning to end in a very effective and efficient manner. BFP has chosen to do this with a few of their videos, but they have a lot more random topic videos. Phil Galfond's High Stakes Adventures comes to mind, or his and White Lime's collaboration on playing HU PLO. I have not watched them, but I've heard very good things. As for the videos that I care about, it doesn't seem like there is any sort of structure or future plan, but I could be wrong. Also, it could be just me, but their website seems to have lots of random errors when trying to navigate through it. This is something else that comes with the territory of just starting out, so I'm sure these issues will be addressed in the future.

Possibly the most important aspect of a training site is the quality of the content in their videos. This is where BFP's true colors shine. Galfond's Philosophy videos are short, but packed with amazing content. SoCalQuest and others offer great insight into their styles of play. BFP's business plan has to do with quality over quantity, and it shows. They may not have the quantity since they have just started, but their quality is top notch. If they have a video for the games you play, I can pretty much guarantee that you will learn something from it.

In conclusion, I think BFP has great potential. I may look into continuing my subscription in the future, especially if I move up in stakes, but for now I will be completely content to stick with DC only.

Real Life Cold Deck Grinder

Thinking of starting my own training site, 2ndNutz, in how to run as poorly as possible. My first series will be "Real Life Cold Deck Grinder."

Week 1 - Inducing Coolers at High Stakes - run well at play money then move up to 5/10 when your "dueness" is at an all-time low.

Week 2 - The 2nd Nutz - playing more Kxs hands.

Week 3 - Boobies - nuff said.

Week 4 - A Means to an Ignorant End - playing more low SCs.

Week 5 - Absolutely -EV - playing on Absolute Poker.

Week 6 - Triple-Barrelling Nits on Wet Boards - they'll fold eventually.

Week 7 - The Flatbarrel - an introspective look into the mind of a coin flipper. (only listeners of 2+2 podcasts will understand this course)

Week 8 - A wrap-up discussion on why single-stuf oreos should be obsolete by now. Also, bigger boobies.

Sheiky Bastard

June 2008

My friends and I are in Vegas for the WSOP. We aren't ballin enough to actually play in the WSOP events, but we still manage to play in at least 10 different tournaments during our week here. We have played at various casinos, including the Orleans which has the best structure imo, with the average buyin being around $100.

It's our last night in Sin City and we decide to play a $250 tourney at the Venetian. I have cashed twice already, with a 3rd out of 77 which was nice, so I don't mind playing a larger buyin. I pick up KK in the first level, and long story short, I get it all in on a 9 high flop against AA. $250 = 15 minutes of playing time. Awesome.

So anyway, I decide I'm going to head over to the Rio to check out the WSOP action, see if I can see some pros, and maybe even get a few autographs. I split a cab w/ some dude and he tells me that he gets staked by some rich people in Chicago to come out here and play. It doesn't really matter if he's telling the truth as it makes for entertaining cab-ride conversation. Since he's so ballin, he pays for the ride and I'm happy to save a few bucks.

I walk into the Rio and peruse the tables for anybody worth watching. I find what I'm looking for at the end of the room. It's the 2-7 lowball triple-draw WSOP event and notables sitting at this table are David Sklansky, Phil Hellmuth, and Shawn "Sheiky" Sheikhan. Pretty sweet table to watch, other than the fact that I really have no idea how to play this game. There's no flop, and no hole-card camera obviously, so there really isn't much to see. Also, watching Sklansky play is like watching a sloth do long division on an abacus. So what would make someone stand around and watch this table? You look over and realize that Hellmuth and Sheikhan are sitting right next to each other.

If you don't know who Shawn Sheikhan is, you can find some good clips of him on YouTube. Lets just say that he has a knack for agitating certain pros. This table has Hellmuth implosion written all over it.

So I decide to stand and watch, along w/ a few others. Plenty of people come and go beside me, each of them perplexed as to why the dealer refuses to deal a flop. I try to explain to some of them, but soon learn of the futility in educating the general poker public. The blonde with the fake boobs doesn't care, nor would she be able to comprehend, the most basic of rules involved in a friendly Uno game, let alone a 2-7 lowball triple draw game.

Inevitably, Hellmuth loses a pot to Sheiky and goes on a rant about how poorly he is playing. Never one to back down, Sheiky fires back and comments that "this isn't a Hold'em event, Phil" and "you stood pat with a J!" (For the uninformed, you are trying to make the lowest hand possible and J high is not a great hand.) Hellmuth goes on to complain about his cards nonstop and eventually tilts himself out the tourney. He insta-leaves the table, forgetting his magazine and bag of nuts. After a short time, Sheikhan realizes this and instantly shouts to me and the rest of the railbirds "anybody want Phil's nuts?!" Everyone gets a good laugh, and one guy quickly yells "I'll take 'em!" Shawn hucks them over to him and he is awkwardly proud of his prize. "I'll sell them on ebay!" he shouts, to which Shawn responds "I better get a cut!"

My forecast for the table proved true, and it was definitely entertaining. I stuck around to watch Shawn play some more. He was seated at the end of the table, facing the crowd. There was a player, let's call him X, facing Shawn right next to me, and X would often pick up his cards high enough for me to see them. An interesting moral dilemma arose because of this. Sheikhan and X were in several hands against each other, and Shawn picked up on the fact that I could see X's cards. Shawn started looking to me after I looked at X's cards, hoping for some information. I assumed in a regular situation this would be morally unethical and I would not partake in such cheating. However, since I really had no idea what was going on in this game, I decided to give Shawn some random head nods when he looked at me. Even if I knew what I was doing, what does a head nod mean anyway? He has a good hand? He missed? Who knows. All I know is that I didn't know so I figured I'd act like I did know and see if Shawn knew. I don't know if he did, but it was fun haha.

Finally Shawn busted out and I decided that was a good time for me to head back to my hotel. I started walking out and Sheikhan and I met up in the hallway. I commented that he played well (with absolutely nothing to back this up) and he quickly responded explaining how poorly he played. I told him "at least you busted Phil," and he just said "Phil's a fuckin' idiot." Shawn's a real sweetheart. He was funny tho, I'll give him that. We walked out of the Rio and I walked to the line to catch a cab and just said "lata man." That's when he responded, "you catching a cab? C'mon man, I'll give you a ride." Sweet! A poker pro offering to give some random fan a ride! AND I don't have to pay for a cab! So we head over to the valet and he discovers that he only has $100 bills. "You got $5?" he asks me. I just laughed and handed him a $10 bill and he asked the valet for $5 back. They looked perplexed considering this dude is rich and asking for $5 back, but then he told them it was mine and they quickly understood. So there goes my free ride lol. They pull around his $100k sports car (can't remember what it was right now) and we speed down the strip to my hotel. He drops me off and tells me to say hey the next time I'm in Vegas. I head up to my room with a story to tell everyone.

Now the KK vs AA doesn't seem so bad :)