The Power of Self-Confidence

This blog was inspired by Tommy Angelo. If you don't know who he is, learn.

Middle school was an interesting time. They say that these are the years when you develop your identity and learn who you really are (as much as a 12 year old can). I'm not here to refute that, but I can say that I personally did not find out who I was, rather I found out who everyone else was.

It's August, right before school starts. I go with my dad to pick out some school clothes for the year. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to look cool. I wanted No Fear shirts, Nike shoes, and Nike socks. Yea that's right, name brand socks. I don't play. I desperately wanted to mold myself into the ever-present junior high myth that a 7th grader can actually "look cool." I got the clothes I wanted, thought I looked cool, and ultimately, all that mattered was no one made fun of me.

Middle school kids can quite possibly be the meanest group of individuals since....well, since elementary school kids. Maybe not the best analogy, but you get my point. Kids are mean. So anyway, you pretty much spend "the formative years" of 6th-8th grade trying to avoid any sort of adolescent mob-mentality stoning. If you survive, you make it to high school, and for me at least, it gets a little easier. You've made friends, you know which group you think you belong in, and the frantic identity search starts to mellow out. By the time you are a senior, you're pretty much the shit. I know I was. Knowing you're the oldest grade in school, possibly with a car, makes you the precedent setter. It's a caterpillar-like transformation from scared peon, adapting to whatever trend is popular, to badass butterfly who bucks the trend if he so chooses. Cuz F underclassmen.

If you're lucky enough to go to college, as I was fortunate enough to do, a weird thing happens. That overconfidence gets shaken a bit as you enter a big bad university. You're back trying to fit in again. Something is different this time though. What's this? People don't give a crap about how you look? Oh sweet, sweet apathy. Long gone are the days of fitting in based on your sweet Adidas socks. A new day has risen. A day where a person is judged on the content of his character, not the color of his Jordan's. At least, this was my experience in college. I was amazed at how I could be myself and no one cared. You start wearing random old t-shirts, shaving half of your face, and oversleeping for a 2:00pm class (thanks to my roommate for attending said class and calling me afterwards so I could run and find the TA to hand in my Discrete Math homework haha). The point being that no one cares anymore about how you look. You are freed from grade school fashion shackles. And that's only the beginning.

Once I stopped caring about how I looked, I began only caring about being me. It was a slow process, but I eventually realized that I was, in fact, the shit. That sounds arrogant, and I am joking, but until you feel like you deserve better things in my life, you'll always struggle with self-esteem issues. Restricting yourself out of the fear of another's opinion gives other people power over you and your actions. The minute you release these shackles, you'll feel empowered. The first few times are the toughest, but trust me, it gets easier. Just like in poker, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. With self-confidence however, you can put yourself out there and not risk anything. Does it get any better than zero risk and self-fulfillment as the reward? You may do something stupid, but you know what? Who cares? This attitude towards life has allowed me to stand up for what's right, live my life by principle - not by popular opinion, and has instilled in me a vast amount of self-confidence.

Translate this attitude towards poker and you set yourself up for success. You don't care about asking dumb questions while learning a new game, so you learn quicker than those hindered by the opinion's of others. You're willing to try new strategies, new bluffs, new crazy lines, and you don't mind having to show your hand. You'll make a "sick call" with 9 high, only to lose to Q high (an actual hand against a friend of mine haha). Sure, you may look stupid calling with 9 high, but deep down you actually look stronger because you are willing to make such a play. Who do you fear more at the table - a guy who folds everything but the strongest of hands, or someone willing to look stupid in order to win your chips? This attitude towards poker, and life, is definitely +EV in the long run.